Come home to LOVE

Our yearning for deep connection and fulfilling relationships asks not that we do something out there in the world, but that we embark on a journey to know ourselves more fully.

In doing so, we come into direct contact with deepening layers of love. Love that lies at the heart of who we really are, and love that can’t help but be reflected in our lives.

What I’ve learned, and what this post describes, is that until we let love in, our physical reality will continue to reflect a conflicted and unsatisfactory version of it. One where we find ourselves wishing for the right partner, closer friends, more easeful family connections, but ultimately, for more peace within ourselves.

I spent years unwittingly shielding myself from love while simultaneously searching for it in all the wrong places. My method was often to push the envelope of experience in order to feel the depth of connection I had craved for as long as I could remember.

On a karmic level, I chose to be born into a family with an abusive father. On a 3D personality level, this was incredibly painful and laid the foundation for my own evolution in this lifetime.

Rather than process the pain of my parents’ divorce and the abusive relationship that was modelled for me by my father, when I came of age, I decided to run.

I ran away from my hometown to join the military, an organisation where I signed over my day-to-day decision-making.

I ran away from my natural feminine body: I shaved my head, took birth control to stop the inconvenience of my period, developed disordered eating patterns, and trained my body into submission.

I ran away from true intimacy, chasing hedonistic experiences in search of the connection I so deeply craved. In that world, I felt fun and free and deeply connected to my friends. But when the party was over, I struggled to recreate any meaningful sense of intimacy and connection.

I ran away from myself.

So how did I get back to who I really was?

Death.

Although I’d been called inward since my aunty’s passing in 2014 and had already begun exploring yoga and Buddhist teachings, it was the death of my ex-husband in 2019 - the key figure in my adult life - that became the catalyst for real change.

I encountered levels of pain and confusion that no amount of hedonistic escape could soothe.

Instead of finding myself on the dance floor or laughing with friends, I would end up sobbing uncontrollably on the bathroom floor of whatever club or dive bar we were in. And to further intensify things, my body was showing signs of breakdown.

What followed was a story of slowing down. Of practice. Of therapy, acceptance, and grief.

And when the foundations of healing had been laid, I opened to the power of my multidimensionality.

Through my work with the Akashic Records, I began to see the bigger picture: how much of what I was reenacting in love had roots that extended far beyond even my childhood. The power of this modality marked the beginning of something truly different.

I came home to myself.

I ended the relationship I was in, left the city, and changed careers. For the first time, I came into a true understanding of what self-love and self-worth really mean, and more importantly, what they actually feel like. I wasn’t clutching or grasping or yearning for love. I was already it.

The energetic freedom of this new vantage point was palpable. The universe responded with the deepest romantic relationship of my life and, against all odds (that’s another story entirely), the arrival of my daughter.

This is how manifestation works. When we loosen our grip and come home to the love that we are, we align with circumstances beyond our wildest dreams.

And this is the space I now help others to live from.

My upcoming workshop (on 7th May 2025), COME HOME TO LOVE, is an opportunity to work with the Akashic Records as a tool for clarity and change, especially in how you relate to others, yes, but most importantly, to yourself.

It’s for anyone who is tired of chasing, tired of performing, and exhausted by relationships that feel more like work than sanctuary.

If that speaks to you, I’d love to walk this next step with you.

Let me know and i’ll send you the details to join.

Sammy x